Thank you all for the laughs you give me. We all need them right now because I’m very sick of this snow and anybody says one more time but this is a pretty snow and mesmerizing snow I’m going to puke in their yard so it will not be a pretty mesmerizing snow any longer!
In answer to Mr. George's inquiries:
1. Yes, I did appear topless in Playgirl. I was young and I needed the cash last week.
2. Katie, mail me your copy and I'll autograph it for you. Thanks for being a loyal subscriber.
3. The vest represents Missouri's take on the term "six-pack abs". It's a concealable and wearable cooler loaded with Budweiser tallboys. Fitting perfectly underneath an oversized trenchcoat, Baby Bjorn, or bedazzled holiday sweater, the Six Pack Buddy (TM) is great for smuggling some brews in to your next office meeting, religious fesitval, or court appearance. Need a few drinks to make it through your day? Need a few more? Then you need the Six Pack Buddy!
But wait, there's more! Order now and you'll receive Rectarettes, our convenient new concealable cigarette case. Next time they tell you "No Smoking", you can tell them "Up Yours!" with Rectarettes.
3. I just patented the heck out of that idea, so HANDS OFF.
Billy Mays Jr. (time to regrow that beard...)
Mrs. Dr. Jeff (Katie) Bradshaw Asks: Is This Brother Mullins?
See attached picture.
(The Editor Asks: Just what type of unsavory magazines and/or websites is Mrs. Dr. Jeff (Katie) Bradshaw subscribing to these days? And, if it is indeed Mullins, what's up with the vest?)