Hey, can one of you clowns send out the VardoGram next Tuesday for me?  I'll be riding on some crazy Habitat for Humanity 500 mile bike ride up in Minnesota.   I'd like to suggest having a man of Vardo handle the VardoGram duties next week, because if you let some dang woman do it, the VardoGram will be all touchy-feely, and nicey-nice, and that type of crap.  Things like, "oh, aren't Natalie's new shoes just soo cute?" and "oh, isn't Nurse Franken just the nicest person" and blah blah blah . .. . You don't want that crap. You want meat. And the VardoGram is 100% pure Angus.  Hell, we're Black Bull.  We've got the biggest . . . . horns. 

This Week's Message

We want to make sure that team Vardo is properly presented in the community as a balanced organization.  So this week's focus will be on all things feminine - the happy side of team vardo.  Please note the schedule below for clothing suggestions for each run.  In addition, I have picked up a variety of magazines for inspiration:  "Martha Stewart's guide for the everyday runner", "This Old Knee – how to repair and rebuild", "Food and Whine – recipes featuring GU".  Tips include:

1. In honor of George, all beverages consumed this week should be garnished with a colorful paper umbrella and/or fruit.  These accoutrements make the experience much more festive.  Cheers – here's drinking to George.
2. Take one meal this week and make sure everything is a small sized presentation, olives, grape tomatoes, cheese cubes, etc.  Then eat it with one of those little seafood forks while holding your pinky in the air and say "I'm so fancy".
3. At the end of each run you should take a bubble bath surrounded by candlelight while playing Barry Manilow. 
4. Bathroom breaks must be scheduled in groups to allow for gossip time.  Keep this in mind in the tight quarters of the porta-pottie
5. Botox – it's not just for those forehead wrinkles anymore.  How do you think runners really keep their jiggle in those short shorts?  Your cellulite can't show if it can't move!
   
   
   Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:       5:30 PM Group Run – Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts  :  It's match the color of your shirt to your shoes night!
Wednesday:   Team Vardo Spa day.  Everyone bring your favorite color of nail polish.  Topic:  Finding your signature color.
Thursday:      5:30 PM Group Run – Ada Hayden.  After the run will be a quick reading of the self help book, "How Supportive Is Your Sports Bra"
Saturday:       Group Run TBA.  Your RouteMaster: The Vardo, Queen of Vardonation