Friends - An important message from Dr. & Ms. Bradshaw:

Hellooo George. Please distribute the following message to the Vardo Nation (tm).

Vardos -- bring your Yak Traks, ice spikes, picks, and your hip waders! This Saturdays run is going to be a joyfully hair-raising Iowa winter extravaganza!!!

Katie and I assure you that every effort has been made to limit the influence of gravity on your bones for this run by mandating walking while on the bridges (unless the street seems suitable and safe for running).

Starting / ending point and liquid refreshment: Parking lot behind design college on campus

Start time: 8am (longer distance runners can start earlier if they so conspire; beverage vehicle will be there at 7:45am)

 12-milers can run the "nearly six" route twice.

9-milers can run one of each.

3 and 6-milers welcome, too.

If you want the actual distance instead of rounding up, do a loop or two around the parking lot.

 
Slushy Toe Nearly Six

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=195352

1.       East on Pammel from the parking lot behind the Design building

2.       North on Stange (wave hello to the horsies)

3.       East on 24^th

4.       South on Hayes (wave hello to Mike's house) / Ridgewood (wave hello to the high school on the way by)

5.       West on 6^th (wave hello to the Cy Ride bus barn)

6.       Continue west on bike path past rec center

7.       Union Drive south and west through campus

8.       North on Sheldon to start

Slushy Toe Nearly Three

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=195355

1.       East on Pammel / University (aka Elwood) (wave hello to the Cy Ride bus barn)

2.       Continue west on bike path past rec center

3.       Union Drive south and west through campus

4.       North on Sheldon to start

The Important Stuff First (Eat your vegetables, then you can have your dessert)

Tuesday Group Run routes, from Good Ol’ Kori:

3 – miles

www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=195154

5 – miles

www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=195155

8-miles

www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=195157

VardoBago Update

Our good friends the Schmitt’s recently visited Winnebago Industries in Forest City, and brought back pictures (see attached) to show us the progress on the VardoBago.  You will immediately notice a few things that need to be tweaked (ex. the carpet looks like it could use a light shampooing, and, as I recall, the bath towels were supposed to be light rose, not pale burgundy). If all goes as planned, including our growing accumulation of Betty Crocker coupons, we will take delivery of the VardoBago no later than Dam to Dam 2045.


Live on Stage at Austin City Limits – it’s Wilco! .. .wait …  no, it’s Mary!

“Hello, Vardos - I highly recommend a mid-winter romp over the hills of Austin, TX contrasted with the ice and snow-covered sidewalks of Ames. 

This is me post- 1/2 marathon (see attached) last Sunday 2/17/08 clocking in @ 2:07.”  Mary

Mary Schrunk:  Camera Hog

Dammit - there she goes again:  Mary in Austin


Note to Karen Klotzbach

A quick inventory of my workspace this morning discloses an item missing in action, i.e., my black Scotch tape dispenser.  If you have once again “borrowed” it, as you did several times during the recent “Holiday Season”, I would appreciate its immediate return to the spot on my desk it calls home.  As you know, it is vital to the continued operations of my accounting / farm management / snow removal practice, to say nothing of its role in preserving / enhancing my mental health.  Thank you.


Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM Group Run – Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. Bring a snow blower to share. (See Kori’s routes above.)
Wednesday:    The Vardo Empire grows not by leaps and bounds, true — but grow it does.
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run – Ada Vardaman Jischke Heritage Memorial Park (if no ice & snow) 
Saturday:         Yes, it’s Bishop Sacco’s Birthday.  He likely would recommend the tofu fish sticks and a Rolling Rock for the celebration. It’s Lent.
Saturday:         Your RouteMasters:  The New and Improved Bradshaw’s (Now with 5 grams of fiber. . .and trans fat free!!!)

 
Start at community Center at 8:00 am (if anyone wants to start earlier they are welcome.)   I've got a 6 miler and 8 miler below.  Choose your distance.  Water will be at the Community Center.
 
http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=194405   - 8 Mile Route
 
http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=183271    - 6 Mile Route
 
Sara

From The Wacky World of Kori Q. Heuss

See attached pdf.  Please check specialized notes under “Additional Information” for each product.


From The Even Wackier World of Art Q. Barton

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale, Arizona:

      1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

      2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.

      3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

      4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.

      5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

      6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

      7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.

      8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

      9. QUIET PLEASE .WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.

      10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

      WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF.

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM Group Run – Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts
Wednesday:    I think we can all agree that one of the easiest ways to prevent birds from striking a window is by using an ingenious decal.
Thursday:        “Movie Night” with The Vardo

Saturday:         Your RouteMaster:  1991 Jones County Fair Queen Sara Lehman
Sunday:           Watch Art Barton Climb A Tall Building In A Single Bound!  Watch Art Barton Flush The Urinals! 801 Grand Power Climb   
 

Guten tag, VardoFreunds/Freunden/SigmundFreuds;

A message from Frau Goodman, per belowgeschtag.

Edelweiss,

Geo. “Fritz” Klotzenbauer

-----Original Message-----
From: Kecia Goodman [mailto:kecia_goodman@yahoo.com]
Sent: 02/15/2008 9:26 AM
To: George klotzbach
Subject: Fwd: Race Across America

George, can you please forward the following message to the Vardos?  Thanks!!

This message is from a friend of mine...John Rotach, who is riding on a bicycle team across the US for one week this summer to raise money for children with heart disease.  If you want to contribute to the cause, I am sure your donations would be greatly appreciated.  As runners, we all appreciate encouragement, so if you want to track their progress, check out the website.


Kecia

Hello all,

As you may have heard I'm riding on a 4-person team in the 2008 Race Across America. Race Across America is a week long, 3100 mile bicycle race from Oceanside, CA to Annapolis, MD. During this week riders ride nonstop, 24 hours a day, eating, sleeping and living on the road. The load is lighter for people attempting this race on a team as we all share the riding, however, we still expect we will each ride around 120 miles/day for the 6+ days.

What would make someone do this? Two reasons. One selfish, and the other charitable.

First, I wanted the next challenge. Race Across America will test me in ways I can't even imagine.

The second reason is kids with heart disease. Our team, Team Strong Heart, hopes to raise money and awareness for Camp Odayin (http://www.campodayin.org), a summer camp in northern Minnesota for children with heart conditions preventing them from attending normal summer camps. These kids, most with scars from their neck to their belly button, have always been different and have rarely had the opportunity to just be a kid. Camp Odayin is able to provide this opportunity (free of charge) by setting up a camp, staffed with volunteer cardiologists and cardiac nurses.

Working for Medtronic I've had the opportunity to see presentations on the magic mission of Camp Odayin. I jumped at the chance to help them with this mission.

Why are you receiving this email? First, I need encouragement. Cheer for me. Track our progress at our website: http://teamstrongheart.blogspot.com. Drop me a line and tell me I'm a nut.

Second, please consider supporting us. On our team website there is a link to donate electronically. Or send me a card. Anything helps.

Third, we could use crew members. Driving across the country in the dark at 20 miles per hour may seem like fun or hell. If the needle is closer to the fun side and you're looking for a 2-week adventure, give me a call. If you know of a college student with the summer off give me a call.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and thank you for any help you can give.

John

Race Across America (http://www.raceacrossamerica.org)
Teams start June 11th, 2008

Team Strong Heart (http://teamstrongheart.blogspot.com)
Camp Odayin (http://www.campodayin.org)

Katie Bradshaw:  Careful Reader / MooseCake Eater

“I believe Señor Tim left out an important detail: the Moose Lodge is serving up BEER batter pancakes. Strangely, they are also serving up Mike with their orange juice. Does Señor Mullins know he's been co-opted?  See Mid-Iowa community calendar:”  Katie Bradshaw

"All the Beer batter pancakes, sausage and bacon you can eat with coffee, mike and orange juice."

http://www.midiowanews.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=2700&PAG=608&Events__EventID=166289&dept_id=554198

The Vardo:  A Fountain of Timely Advice and Information

During the Rosy Cheeks 5K, I was trying to “zone out” of Bill’s (not the Other Bill’s) constant blathering.  I think we all get a little tired of his little “mini sermons” on white supremacy / the Master Race / etc.   And his various theories (some of them quite credible) as to why he believes Jan is the Antichrist.  I shut a good share of this out during the run, and tried instead to focus on all of the fine advice The Vardo has given to us over the past five or so years. I thought I’d pass on some of my personal favorites:

Running During Extremely Hot Weather:

“Take water at least every three miles – be sure to hydrate all day for an afternoon run.  Gatorade is your friend.”

Running During Extremely Cold Weather:

“Don’t.”

Treatment of Injury:

“Remember RICE:  Rest – Ice – Compression – Elevation”

Grain Marketing:

“Go with a very aggressive selling position in either hedge to arrive or a long put position. Protect the upside with long calls.”

Barry Manilow’s Greatest Hits:

“Don’t.”

Life (In General):

“Live fast, die young, and leave a good lookin’ corpse.”

Abstracts of Title:

"Always consider circumstances where a stray deed can become the "root of title" to a competing chain of record."

Sandals With Black Dress Socks:

“Don’t.”

Feel free to send your favorites to me at klotzbach@msn.com and I’ll have Kori print up some lovely trinket for distribution / easy reference.  Maybe a laminated hang tag with lanyard / coffee mug / hand-powered flashlight, etc.  Something practical.  A stocking stuffer, if you are still looking for this type of thing.

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:       5:30 PM Group Run – Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts
Wednesday:   Today, Judge Bill (The Other Bill) takes his cue from Amazon.com and throws the Kindle at the scalawag.
Thursday:      Snow, blowing snow at times.  Visibilities will be reduced to  . . oh, never mind . . ..
Saturday:       Red Flannel Run / Gartin Gallop

Hola, Vardonistas:

Senor Gartin would like some input regarding next Saturday.  Please cast your ballot at: timothy.gartin@amesattorneys.com

Buena Vista,
Jorge

-----Original Message-----
From: Timothy Gartin [mailto:timothy.gartin@amesattorneys.com]
Sent: 02/11/2008 9:02 AM
To: George Klotzbach
Subject: Next Saturday's run

Snippets from an e-mail from Jeff Margrett:

“My son tested positive for a strain of pneumonia. He was not eating and ran a very high fever.    Having CF they were concerned.  Quinn was released today and is feeling much better.”
 
 

Vardos:

Our friend (and Premier Vardo) Jeff Margrett notified me this morning that his son has been hospitalized for a few days at Mary Greeley Medical Center with some issues related to his Cystic Fibrosis.  As a result, Jeff will not be able to be the RouteMaster for tomorrow’s group run.  He would appreciate a substitute, if deemed necessary, and if one is available. 

Jeff said that he would likely not have computer access for the next few days, so I’ll pass on any information concerning the group run, and any information pertaining to the more important matter, the health of Jeff’s son.

gjk