VardoGram
at
8/18/2009
First Up: Potatoes Au Colvin
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| 6 mi City Hall to Moore Park Loop Also, if you need water again at mile 5ish, I will have water available on my front lawn (1018 Curtiss) (As you are heading down Northwestern from 13th, take a detour left onto 12th, go one block to Curtiss take a right and my house is at the end of the block, gray with black shutters) This route is the same as the 6 mile except that instead of heading left on 13th, you head right over to Hyland. Then right again on Ross Road Run through Emma McCarthy Lee Park (WATER at fountain by tennis courts) Run on the trail that ends on Oakland Oakland to Hyland Left on Hyland Right on Pammel, yes up the big hill! Pammel/University (WATER if needed is available in any of the multiple buildings on University, Science II for sure) Left on 6th (WATER at Brookside if needed) Back to city hall
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Enjoy! Megan Colvin
And Now: Plastered (Or Not) In The UK
http://bonehead.lerman.biz/php/BloodyStupid.php
(Link provided by Kori. Feel free to edit the story substituting Nurse Franken where necessary/appropriate.)
The Mayor Moran New Bike Charitable Foundation
Many of you know that John Moran, the Mayor of Northeast Story City, is preparing for a duathlon to be held at the end of August. You are also probably aware that he has been training for the 18 mile bike ride portion of this event. What you might not know is that his bike is . . . well, actually, his bike is not . . . let's not mince words here: I'm no biking expert, but I think the professional literature would refer to the Mayor's bike as a Royal Piece Of Shit (RPOS).
You would ask yourself: Is it not true that the Mayor draws some fine cabbage as a key part of the crack Story City Administration team? Is it not true that his wife, Carol, probably hauls in some serious coin in her role as the Ben Bernanke of the NADC? What part of the Moran Household Monthly Budget prevents a line item for Bicycle Repair and Maintenance? How about a line for Replacement of Thirty Five Year Old Bicycle?
After Saturday's group run, The Mayor, who had carefully stowed his RPOS in the box of his truck before driving to Ames, went for a training ride on the RPOS. We all watched him arrive back at the Hy-Vee parking lot, and made careful observation of how he hit the brake at the end of his ride. Notice I said "brake", not "brakes". This is because the RPOS has one working brake. And you guessed it – the working brake happens to be the front brake. John said he was taking the RPOS into Skunk River Cycles to have them fix the back brake, and see if they could correct "some of the wobble" in the rear wheel. VardoNation, I am here to tell you that if you put a bike computer on the front wheel of the RPOS, and another on the back wheel, you would find that the rear wheel would measure 1.25 times the distance recorded by the front.
Friends do not let friends drive drunk. Vardos do not let other Vardos ride a bike that makes them look like a drunk. Therefore, we have established the Mayor Moran New Bike Charitable Foundation (MMNBCF). There are approximately 100 names on the Team Vardo e-mail list. If each and every one of you would kindly donate 25 cents to the MMNBCF, we would have $25. Now you ask "But what kind of bike could we get for John with just $25?" And my answer is ONE THAT IS FAR BETTER THAN THE PIECE OF CRAP HE HAS RIGHT NOW. I would guess that Target or Wal-Mart would have some scratch n' dent men's Huffy mountain bike that fell out of its shipping container from Singapore, something lying around the back loading dock waiting for Waste Management to pick up, that they would gladly take twenty five bucks for. Heck, I don't care if we have to buy a pink women's bike, weld a Man Bar on to it, and paint the damned thing LiveStrong Yellow. We must replace the RPOS and save The Mayor from imminent disaster. He would do it for you. Yes he would.
So: To start things off, bring 25 cents (that's one quarter) to Tuesday's Group Run. We'll have a small container to collect your donations. Please do your part and help stop the madness. Thank you.
Group Runs / Activities This Week
Tuesday: 5:30 PM Group Run – Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. RouteMaster: Megan Colvin
Thursday: 5:30 PM Group Run – Ada Hayden Warren Q. Madden Myanmar (Formerly Burma) Park
Friday: 5:30 PM American Cancer Society Spaghetti Dinner – Moose Lodge / Art Barton Dining Hall
Saturday: Group Run – Your RouteMaster: Cori Peterson
Saturday: 8:00 AM - American Cancer Society 5K for Life – Brookside Park
Saturday: 5:30 PM - A Farewell To Finn – West Towne Pub