Father Fencl Speaketh:  Route For Tonight’s Group Run

4 mile route:
http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=273895

city hall east to clark
north to 13th
DON'T DIE CROSSING ROAD
east on 13th past stagecoach rd almost to the green hydrant
TURN AROUND
COME HOME

somebody will have a garmin to get the exact (plus or minus 7 other garmin's opinions) turn around point

6 mile route:

do the 4 mile route
take a breather and add the below link to make 6 miles total.

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=273899

lent starts Wednesday, get your ash in gear- Father Fencl


Dublin Bay – Tonight 6:30 PM

There will be a fine Dash ‘N Dine following tonight’s Group Run  Your LentMaster:  Father Fencl


CrimeStoppers:  Your Help Is Needed

Interpol Mexico requests Team Vardo’s assistance in identifying a suspect accused of defacing  a bar top last week in Ixtapa Zihuatanejo:

Team Vardo Remains Financially Secure

National media has recently reported a federal bailout of several longstanding public institutions. Let us reassure you, despite unstable economic times, Team Vardo remains financially secure.   The news reports reference the Federal Fitness Club Union approving the issue of $35 billion in new capital to various wellness organizations, much like the Federal Reserve does for banks.  The changes happening on the national scene will not affect your membership with Team Vardo.  Unfortunately, we are still attempting to collect the hundreds of thousands of dollars that were lost when we invested most of the Endowment and Holiday Awards Banquet account in the Bradshaw Partners Equity II Fund.  We understand the Bradshaw’s have been sighted in southern Illinois.


Four On The Fourth

Big news, boys:  Father Fencl and Sister Goodman will be the Co-Race Directors for Friendship Ark Homes’ annual Four on the Fourth 4K / 4 Mile run/walk at Ada Hayden Heritage Park.  Aunt Kori Heuss (now in three exciting new flavors:  Berry, Mango, and Kori-Kola) will be assisting Father F and Sister G as Technical Advisor – Publicity.  Art Barton, as usual, will be Big Picture Guy.  Stay tuned for details / updates on this fine event.  In the meantime, mark your calendars for July 4^th. 

               
Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:              5:30 PM  Group Run.  Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts -  Your RouteMaster:   Father Fencl
Tuesday:              6:30 PM  Group Eat.   Dublin Bay
Wednesday:      A reminder to be kind to Canada. We use their alphabet, numbering system, and restroom facilities.
Wednesday:      Here’s a fine birthday -  Megan Taylor.  Or maybe Megan Colvin.  It’s Megan’s birthday.
Thursday:            5:30 PM Group Run – Ada Vardaman Heritage Warren Q. Madden What? Me? Furlough? Park
Saturday:             Group Run.  Your RouteMaster:   Erin Pederson, Troublemaker

Doug Bryner Gives An Update On TIMTAM / Looks For Laptop And Operator /  Knows Art Barton

“I've got most of my volunteers. Thank the Lord!*  But I still need a person who can type like BLUE BLAZES at registration for TIMTAM.  5:30 AM with a laptop.
Also 3 more people who can tag team helping timing laps.  It goes on 'til 2 PM. Or more. Can you send out an APB to all the young ambitious VARDOs. And I know Art Barton. (Wait a minute, who the hell is he?)”   Doug Bryner  brynerdouglas@hotmail.com

*Editor’s Note:  Or equivalent Supreme Being of one’s choosing (e.g.  Zeus,  Papa Smurf, Rush Limbaugh, etc.)


Lent!  Lent!

Father Fencl is the RouteMaster for Fat Tuesday (Feb 24).  Father Fencl, in consultation with Bishop Sacco, has proclaimed the evening of the 24^th to be a Dash ‘n Dine.  So, here’s the plan:  5:30 PM Group Run as usual from The Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts (City Hall).  Then meet at Dublin Bay at 6:30 PM for drinks, dining, and devotions with the mostly celibate Father Fencl.  Truly, a  fine event that will put some mardi in your grass.


A Public Service Message From Art Barton.  Yes, That Art Barton.

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:              5:30 PM: Group Run.  Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts.   Your RouteMaster:   Mayor Moran and Mayor Moran – The Sequel
Wednesday:      Remember:  With Team Vardo , you are bidding against fellow collectors and NOT a house reserve.
Thursday:            5:30 PM Group Run – Ada Vardaman Heritage Warren Q. Madden Stimulus Bailout Pork-O-Rama Park
Saturday:             Group Run.  Your RouteMaster:   Professor Tom Q. Schultz

.
 

First Up:  Tonight’s 5:30 PM Group Run -  And It’s OUTSIDE!

“Start and finish at the Vardo Center for the Performing Arts (aka City Hall not the Moose Lodge)”    Bishop Dominick “Dom” Perignon

A fine 4 mile route
http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=164882

A just as fine 6 mile route
http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=247404



And Now:  The Art of Barton

“Hello Vardos! I'm writing to you to ask for your support in a very special cause. Please follow this link to my web-page, and see how you can make a difference in millions of lives :   http://walk.jdrf.org/walker.cfm?id=87296599  Thank you!”  Art Barton

(Editor’s Note:  Worth the click and the donation, man. It’s a great picture of Art before he grew his rock-star bad-boy beard.  Now he’s Bad Ass Barton.)


Tim Gartin:  Shovel Ready

Friends, ever since the formation of Team Vardo in 1954, there has been talk talk talk of organizing a Team Vardo group bike ride.  And now, finally, Tim Gartin has suggested a means of converting the mandibular flap  into  bona fide deliverables.   The details:   Sunday morning rides that will start and finish in time to make the second service at Our Lady of Vardo Church (Manitoba Synod).  The routes will include lovely tours of Story County’s back roads, and will feature breathtaking vistas of cattle and hog lots, acres of federal government subsidized cash grains / oilseeds, and visits to the charming communities of Cambridge and Fernald.  Please watch for the announcement of the inaugural ride in an upcoming VardoGram and/or VardoAlert. 

In the meantime:  Get your bike into Skunk River Cycles pronto for a pre-season tune-up, and be sure to ask about their daily lunch special.  Word on the street is Chef Ronn serves up a zesty Kung Pao Chicken on Tuesdays.


Ever Say To Yourself “ Dang, I Wish I Could See My Earwax?”

Well, now you can with the Ear Wax Visualizer!  Now at VardoMart –  a package of two for only $3.99.  Share one with a friend!

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Sunday:                It was Tim Gartin’s Birthday.  And we missed it.  So sue us.
Tuesday:              5:30 PM: Group Run.  Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts.   Your RouteMaster:   Bishop Randy Sacco (per above)
Wednesday:      One atom says to the other atom:  I think I’ve lost an electron. Other atom: Are you sure?  First atom:  I’m positive.
Thursday:            5:30 PM Group Run – Is it light enough now for Ada Hayden Six Flags Over Martin Jischke Heritage Park?
Saturday:             Group Run.  Your RouteMaster:   Stephanie Bondi

Good News and Bad News

Bad news first:     Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow yesterday, so there’s gonna be six more weeks of winter.
The good news:   Abracadabra Art didn’t see his, so there’s six more weeks of open bar at the Moose Lodge.


The Proper Hand Gesture For Greeting A Fellow Vardo

(Note the correct placement of the middle finger, for you nimrods who “wave” at me around town . .. ..)











Brother Mullins:  “My other sled is a Porsche”

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:              5:30 PM: Group Run.  Vardaman Center or Vardo Coliseum.  Your RouteMaster:  Sister Kirstin Peterson
                                                (Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts = City Hall  /  Vardo Coliseum = State Gym)
Wednesday:      Like grandma  said, “There's room for all God's creatures - right next to the mashed potatoes and gravy.”
Wednesday:      A fine birthday:   Jenny Bethurem
Thursday:            5:30 PM Group Run – Vardo Coliseum
Friday:                  Yet another fine birthday:   Beth Henriksen
Saturday:             A Team Vardo Signature Event:  The Rosy Cheeks 5K, featuring pancakes flipped by the Mayor of Northeast Story City, John Moran
Saturday:             Group Run - Your RouteMaster:  Moi  (Does anyone want me to cook up a route, or is everyone going to Rosy Cheeks? Carpool?)