Team Vardo News

VardoGram

2008-12-16T07:39:00.003-06:00

The New Calendars Are Here! The New Calendars Are Here!

Know ye all men by these presents ye Sister Kecia Goodman speaketh heretofore thusly:

“The new January-June calendar for 2009 has been put on the teamvardo.com website ( Team Vardo ) and can be downloaded from there. You should see 1/2 marathon and marathon distances and who is scheduled for RouteMaster duty. It has been suggested that we include a shorter distance for those people who may be new to our group and/or don't feel like running the longer distances. Please take this suggestion into account (as it is not on the calendar) when you are RouteMaster. If your assigned RouteMaster date does not work for you, please send out an email and request that someone switch dates with you. If you have any questions, please let me know. Thanks!!”   Kecia The Goodman

What Will Santa Have In His Sleigh For The Margrett’s?

Know therefore men hear ye oyez oyez oyez ye Extremely Deluxe Jeff Margrett asketh:

“I have a request for help for the VardoGram.  We are thinking of getting a treadmill. Would any Vardo's have any advice on brands, features, what to look for, what to stay away from, etc. Thanks for the help!!” Jeff Margrett jeffmargrett@hotmail.com

Just In Time For The Holidays:   Cat Butt Meowing Pencil Sharpener

It’s a cat, you stick your pencil in its derrière, it meows, and it sharpens your pencil. Your feline friend stands in his own litter tray which catches your pencil shavings. A "meowing" sound chip is activated as you sharpen.

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. (Community Center) Tonight? What are you, nuts?
Wednesday:    Your dad was not a metrosexual. He didn’t do Pilates. Moisturize. He ran with Team Vardo. Damn straight. He ran with Team Vardo.
Friday:             Hey look - It’s Jody Q. Gatewood’s birthday
Saturday:        Group Run RouteMaster: John Q. Glover

VardoGram

2008-12-16T07:39:00.001-06:00

Saturday Group Run Update

2008-10-29T07:34:00.001-05:00

Start time is 8 AM from the Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts a/k/a City Hall.

(Route per Ames Police Dept. Sergeant Christine Crippen a/k/a Ma’am.)

VardoGram

2008-10-28T08:56:00.001-05:00

Some Fine Video From Mike Clayton

Marathon Rescue

Shameless Plug: Skunk River Cycles

Hey, boys – our man Ronn Ritz just received some fine cold weather running/biking clothing at his Most Excellent Main Street Store. We’re talkin’ windproof long sleeve shirts/jerseys, soft shell jackets with zip-off sleeves to make a lovely (and fashionable) vest, and 47,000 tons of warm hats and gloves. Friends, that’s 26,000 tons more than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty. And when the cold gales of November come early, you don’t want to be at the bottom of the lake they call Gitche Gumee. So getcho gumee down to Skunk River Cycles.

Fresh From The Ames PD

(Editor’s Note: Have you ever wanted to tell a police officer to just go jump in a lake? Here’s your chance. E-mail address provided.)
(Second Editor’s Note: Hey, Jan – in the office, do you call her Chris or Sarge or Sir or Hey You or what?)

“Here is the route I made for Saturday: http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=255490

I forgot that I will be diving in a lake in Marshalltown on Saturday, so I will not be running.”

Sgt. Christine Crippen
Ames Police Department
515 Clark, Ames, Iowa
515-239-5133
E-mail:  ccrippen@city.ames.ia.us

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. (South Entrance – Community Center)
Wednesday:    Waterfowl Report: Migration starting. Increasing numbers of puddle ducks. Camo running shoes suggested. Steel shot only.
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run. The Annual Halloween Run? I believe the Heuss-Walter Distance Project has costume material available.
Friday:             It’s gonna be a finn-tastic day – It’s Brendan Q. Finn’s birthday!
Saturday:        Group Run RouteMaster: Sergeant Christine Q. Crippen

Team Vard-O: We Put The "O" in O. Richard Bundy

2008-10-23T14:02:00.000-05:00

Brother-in-Training Rich Bundy speaketh:

Here are links to two routes for Saturday -- I saw on the Vardo website that we should be doing 8 miles, so that's the first route. For those who want fewer miles, I have also prepared a 4 miler. Both routes will have water available in a cooler at the sign on the ISU cross country course -- corner of Mortensen and Hayward. The routes can also be combined for folks who want to go longer.

Eight miles: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2354600

Four miles: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2354631

I propose starting from the West Ames HyVee Parking Lot at 8:00 a.m. Breakfast to follow at HyVee for those who are so inclined.

Rich

O. Richard Bundy, III
Vice President for Development, ISU Foundation
Global Agriculture Fellow, Iowa State University
2505 University Blvd.
Ames, IA 50011
(515) 294-9088

VardoGram

2008-10-21T07:53:00.001-05:00

Can You Beat The Barton?

Try your luck with this fine item from Sir Art (The) Barton: Tic-Tac-Toe

An Invitation From The Ames Hash House Harriers

“The Ames Hash House Harriers would like to invite the VardoNation to their Fall Formal Red Dress Run at Living History Farms run. Go to Goodwill or Salvation Army store and get a red dress for $4-5 and join the fun! Depending on the weather, I may wear my long dress or my mini. Afterward we meet at Stormy's (on Douglas in I think it is West Des Moines) for refreshments and singing Hash songs. It is about a 12 year tradition and Stormy's always expects us and have chili and snacks.” Doug Bryner

Nurse Franken Wins Her Debut Marathon

The following VardoAlert was received on the teletype Sunday from Father Fencl:

Detroit Free Press Marathon Kristen Franken Ames IA Female 40 to 44 41 F 4:03:38

(Editor’s Note: Way to go, M. That’s a pretty good time for a F. We’re gonna make a M out of you yet.)

Team Vardo Wins 2008 IMT Des Moines Half And Full Marathons

Tim Gartin and Megan Colvin run their first full marathon, and finish in record time. Report is that Tim Gartin’s spectacular time was the result of superior coaching from the Dave Elsenbast Jet Fuel Project. Colvin credits the potato-flavored GU.

Many half-marathon PR’s were recorded, including Mary Schrunk with a 2 hour time, and a PR from the Founding Aunt of Team Vardo, Kori Heuss. Joyce Hagley ran the half, and heckled the 5:00 full marathon pace group. Many, many Vardos participating, along with fine Course Support from The Vardo, Danielle Wain, Sister Kecia Goodman, and Father Timothy Q. Fencl. Roman Lynch made an unfortunate cameo appearance.

Tim Gartin: Marathon Machine

“For those looking for another fall race, I came across this race in Overland Park, KS on Sunday, 11/23. I am thinking about running the 1/2 there. In addition to the 1/2, they have a full marathon and a 5K. Here is the link: www.gobblergrindmarathon.com.” Tim Gartin

Julie Vardaman: Birthday Gurl

“Anyone up for a beverage post-run on Tuesday night? It is The Vardo's birthday, and I believe that Sunday marked the end of nearly everyone's season. Might be a good night to celebrate. Location TBD after the run??” The Vardo

Speaking Of The Vardo

Check this out: Zoom Performance

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. (South Entrance – Community Center)
Tuesday:         VardoNation Federal Holiday – It’s The Vardo’s Birthday. No mail, banks closed, etc. Don’t go to work, etc.
Wednesday:    There is no “x” in eczema. Remember this FunFact next time you're in a spelling bee. It may prove to be your ticket to victory.
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run. Ada Vardaman Warren Q. Madden Heritage Grated Parmesan Memorial Park
Thursday:        Hey look – it’s Danielle Wain’s Birthday. I scream. You scream. We all yell for Danielle.
Saturday:        Group Run RouteMaster: Brother-In-Training Richard Q. Bundy

VardoGram

2008-10-14T09:36:00.001-05:00

From Laura Q. Merrick – A Fine Event on Saturday!

Abana Banji Run - A Fundraising Event for the Ames High School Uganda Project
9 AM, Saturday October 18th, 2008 - 5K route at Ada Hayden Park
Entrance Fee: $20 Includes race t-shirt, time results, and prizes to age division winners for men and women (8^th grade and under, high school, open).
Post race events will include food and drinks as well as Awards from the Ames High School Uganda Project

“Abana banji” is Lugandan for “Many Children”. Each summer since 2004, Ames High students have traveled to Uganda to build schools for the Ugandan children. Many of these children are orphans, whose parents have died from the HIV-AIDS epidemic in Africa. All proceeds from the Abana Banji Run will go toward projects helping the children of Uganda. This event is sponsored by AHS Student Council and SHEPH.

So You Want Chicago Marathon Pics? Take A Look Here, Boys:

Attached is a picture taken Saturday of Brother Mike Mullins and Brother-In-Training Rich Bundy. Next stop: Boston. (Note: there were more pics sent to me, but MS Outlook wouldn’t let me send all of them. Sorry.)

Living History Farms Registration

Stacey Q. Roberts speaketh: “If fellow Vardos are signing up for Living History Farms (which they should, since the registration is FINALLY open), they can choose "Team Vardo" in the drop down menu.”

Team Vardo Brings Home The Gold and Silver and Bronze and Recycled Aluminum at the Run for the Roses

Too many Vardo’s wearing medals and eating omelets on Sunday. See Run4Roses - 2008 for race results. Scan for Vardos. Repeat as necessary.

Saturday Group Run Information – From The One and Only Jeff Margrett

“Please note that I will be the RouteMaster on Saturday in place of Tim Gartin. It was part of a weird three-way trade where Mary Schrunk will take my November 22nd gig and Tim will be dealt to the San Diego Padres.” Jeff Margrett

6 mile: http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=247404

Optional 3 mile for those running Des Moines on Sunday but wanting to run a few to loosen up: http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=252610
Leaving at 7:45 for 6 milers /   8:15 for 3 milers (or later if you want.)   Water will be at Moore Park for 6 milers and at the end for everyone.

Note: Both options start and end at the Vardaman Center (City Hall)

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts.
Wednesday:    You really need to admit there are things of the world that want us for dinner.
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run. Ada Vardaman Warren Q. Madden Heritage Memorial Katie Q. Bradshaw Birthday-In-Absentia Run Park
Saturday:        Group Run RouteMaster: Jeff Q. Margrett

VardoGram

2008-10-07T07:39:00.001-05:00

And Now, A Fine Message From The Head Skunk: Mr. Ronn Q. Ritz

"George: Alert the Vardonians about the 'Lutheran Services "BLUE SKY DAY' 5K event on Oct 11th. Skunk River Cycles is donating a fully decked out Raleigh commuting bike to one of our favorite charities. Thanks!" Ronn, Skunk River Cycles
Link: Lutheran Services in Iowa – Blue Sky Day

Lost and Found Department

A 2008 zip-front Boston Marathon jacket was found at Jack Trice Stadium Saturday after the ISU-Kansas football game. If this is yours, contact Roman Lynch by email at romanlynch@mchsi.com or by phone at 233-6057.

Get On Your Bike And Ride For The Breast Cancer Awareness Foundation

Del Weiss, five time winner of the Habitat for Humanity 500 bike ride, would like you to join her this Saturday for a local biking event:

Trek WSD Breast Cancer Awareness Ride, hosted by the Trek WSD program and Bike World
Saturday Oct 11, 10:00 AM starting at Bike World Ames
10 or 25 mile no drop ride. (Editor's Note: No drop = not a race. You all ride together. Also means Del will not drop her Starbucks French Roast)
$25 fee with 100% of fee donated to Breast Cancer Awareness Foundation.
Bike World Ames 515-232-3669 / Steve L from Bike World said that there will be food. (Editor's Note: Vardo's like food.)
Registration information: Active.com - 2008 Trek WSD Breast Cancer Awareness Ride

And After You've Done The Blue Sky 5K And / Or The Breast Cancer Awareness Bike Ride On Saturday, It's Time For . . ..

The Run for The Roses 5K and 10K at the new Ames Middle School on Sunday! Registration information: Run for the Roses

Vardo's Like Food

We like eating yes we do. We like eating how 'bout you? How 'bout a very simple pie chart to explain this phenomenon? See attached.

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts.
Wednesday:    Like Ranger Gord says: "A lot of people have died at the end of a rope. A lot of people have died at the end of a snake. Think about it."
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run. Ada Vardaman Warren Q. Madden Heritage Memorial Collateralized Mortgage Obligation Provincial Park
Saturday:        Group Run RouteMaster: Danielle Q. Wain and her collection of 17,532 pairs of shoes (oh . those Bǿrn's are just sooo cute on . .. .)

Forbes.com: Intelligent Investing with Steve Forbes: Neil Hennessy

2008-10-06T08:06:00.001-05:00

Neil Hennessy
Steve Forbes talks with mutual fund manager Neal Hennessy. Hennessy's unemotional approach to the markets has led his Focus 30 funds to positive returns despite the market's meltdown.

http://www.forbes.com/intelligentinvesting/2008/10/03/intelligentinvestingHennessy.html&partner=email

This Just In . . .

2008-10-05T13:03:00.000-05:00

Flash from the Team Vardo hotline:

Sister Kecia Goodman – Boston Marathon Qualifier. Repeat: Sister Kecia Goodman – Boston Marathon Qualifier

Father Fencl and Sister Goodman just finished the Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon, both crossing the finish line at 3:39:46.

VardoGram

2008-09-30T07:56:00.000-05:00

A Shameless Campaign Endorsement

Mike Mullins for Story County Soil and Water Commissioner. There. I’ve said it. I know we don’t talk politics (and most religions) in the VardoGram, but sometimes a great man steps forward to answer the call. Mike knows soil. Mike knows water. Hell, he can see soil and water from his front door. He’s even worked on commission. Never, in the history of our great County of Story, has a man been more qualified for Story County Soil and Water Commissioner than Mike Mullins. Please join me in writing in MIKE MULLINS for Story County Soil and Water Commissioner.

Speaking of Elections

Page two of your lovely November ballot offers an opportunity to vote Yes for a fellow Vardo. (Federal and Iowa election laws prohibit me from telling you that this Vardo’s name is William Q. Pattinson.) So do the right thing on Election Day. Scan the ballot for familiar names, like Bill, and darken the YES oval. It may save your bacon come Judgment Day, so to speak.

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. RouteMaster: The Art of Barton
Wednesday:    There will be a time when that Axl Rose impression of yours will probably do the trick.
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run. Ada Vardaman Heritage Warren Q. Madden Memorial Round-Up Ready Park
Saturday:        Group Run RouteMaster: The Assistant Mayor of Linden Drive, Christopher Q. Delaney

VardoGram

2008-09-23T09:59:00.001-05:00

From The Kitchen of William Q. and Janice Z. Schmitt: Tonight’s Route

Route options for Tuesday from City Hall:

4 miles http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=247414

City Hall across Grand bridge to Northwestern Northwestern to 24th 24th to Hayes Hayes to Ridgewood Ridgewood to 13th 13th to Clark Clark to City Hall.

6 miles (with water stop at water fountain in Moore Memorial Park) http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=247404

City Hall across Grand bridge to Northwestern Northwestern to 24th 24th across Stange and into Moore Memorial Park on trail Trail toward Shelter for water stop at shelter fountain Stay on the trail on the east side of the park toward Veenker (do not loop the park unless you wish) Exit trail by Veenker to Stange Stange to 13th 13th to Clark Clark to City Hall

Or combine both routes for 10 miles. Water/Gatorade cooler provided at City Hall following. Happy running - The Schmitts

And Here’s Sara Q. Lehman With Saturday’s Group Run Route

Here are the routes for Saturday. I've done a 12, 10 and 5 mile routes or combination of these for whatever people want to run for distance.

Starting place: Hy-Vee East. Gather at the north side of the parking lot near Lincoln Way.

Recommended starting time:

6:30 am for 10 or 12 mile
7:00 am for 5 miles

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=246601 - 10 miler

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=246611 - 12 miler

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=246613 - 5 miler

Back By Popular Demand: The Heart of Iowa Trail Group Run / Cookout

I have been reminded that it’s time again to do the kind-of-annual run on the Heart of Iowa Trail (say, 3 -5 miles or so) from the Trailhead Park or whatever it is on the north side of Slater. This is a grill event (yourself during the run, and at the shelter afterwards). So: If you think we can put this together for this Thursday, would you send me an email klotzbach@msn.com and let me know so that the Kind-Of-Annual Heart of Iowa Trail Run Committee can put together some type of plan for food / route / grill equipment / water stops / exotic dancers / etc. There will likely be some fresh ground beef from a steer (his name was Trevor) who previously grazed upon the wild grass prairie of the Klotzbach Land & Cattle Company.

Plan on bringing something to grill (if you want something other than Trevor) and maybe some salad/dessert/chips to share. (If the Schmitt’s attend: BILL – REMEMBER TO BRING THE BUNS THIS TIME. THEY ARE ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER JUST WHERE JAN TOLD YOU THEY WOULD BE.) This event will be kinda like a church picnic, except the minister and his family won’t be there and we won’t be asking for money. We do need an RSVP to determine how many pallets of ketchup and mustard are needed.

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. (South Entrance – City Hall) RouteMaster: The Schmitt’s
Wednesday:    Enrich your kitty's diet and save your houseplants - with healthy, all-natural oat grass. And oh, what a treat for your scalp.
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run. Heart of Iowa Trailhead Grill-o-Rama (North Edge of Slater)
Thursday:       Happy Birthday to Brother Tim Moran
Friday:             Happy Birthday to Nurse Kris Franken
Saturday:        Group Run RouteMaster: Sara Q. Lehman

VardoGram

2008-09-14T14:16:00.001-05:00

The VardoGram is early this week boys, because Reverend Sarah (Klotzbach) Dickinson and I are headed up to God’s Country for a few days.
So let’s get the show on the road:

First Up – It’s The Laczniak’s With Tuesday’s Group Run Info

“Two links (below) are the course maps. For the ten-mile run, water and restroom facilities will be available at our house (approximately mile 4 -- 818 Idaho Ave – please stop in our backyard and say hi to our pet goat Joey). Water and facilities are also available at the Gerdin Business Building on campus (enter via the front door and facilities and water fountains are available down a short hallway followed by a quick left turn (rest rooms are across from the elevators)). Here is the 10-mile map link: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2254390

The six-mile loop will have rest rooms and water available in the Gerdin Business Building (approximately mile 4.5). Here is the link: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2254437.

The 10-mile run features a tour of the “tractor graveyard” (area between Brookside Park’s baseball fields and ISU Fredrickson Court area – actually, there is a nice little trail). It also features a tour of our neighborhood (Spring Valley) and the ISU Campus (including the infamous Gerdin Business Building, work home of yours truly). The six-mile run has the same landmarks minus the tour of our neighborhood.” Russ & Kathy Laczniak

Next: Our Good Friend (and PhD Candidate) - Stacey Roberts

“In case there are any Vardo’s who would like just one more race at Brookside Park: Heartland MPS 5K:”

https://www.mpssociety.org/index.php?cat_id=4026&url_run4026=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mpssociety.org%2Fmodules%2FRun_Registration%2FviewRace.php%3Fid%3D34&formFocus=run4026

How ‘Bout This From Sir Doug Bryner

“The Dairy Science Club is having a 5K at Brookside Friday 19th at 6pm as a fundraiser for memorial scholarship for one of their past members killed by a drunk driver. "Hoofin' It For Alison".

And Finally: A Recent Press Release From Kum & Go

WEST DES MOINES, IA September 8, 2008 (Bloomberg BusinessWire)

Kum & Go, one of the nation’s leading convenience store chains, is providing Team Vardo with a 25% discount on all cigarettes, cigars, and snuff. “It’s our way of thanking Team Vardo for relying on us as their tobacco headquarters throughout their training season,” said Brad Lehman, Kum & Go’s senior vice president of marketing. “We want to remind everyone that Kum & Go is a fast and convenient place to get your smokes and chew, whether it's right after a group run or right before that 5 or 10 K. And hell, them Vardo’s – they’s good people.”

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. (South Entrance – City Hall) RouteMaster: The Laczniaks
Wednesday:    President Nixon. Now more than ever.
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run. Ada Hayden Vardaman Warren Q, Madden Heritage Memorial Fender Stratocaster Park
Saturday:         Group Run RouteMaster: Brother Mullins

Thursday Night Group Run - El Azteca

2008-09-10T13:25:00.001-05:00

Vardo-A-Go-Go’s:

Today, somebody’s gonna flip the switch on the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) over in France or Greece or one of them Scandinavian countries. The idea is to find some bosuns or bosoms or something that is missing or small or whatever. Bottom line: it’s scientific and the earth could explode and it might involve your tax dollars or hockey moms or etc.

But if the moon doesn’t fall tonight, and if the continents don’t collide, there will be a LHC group run Thursday night at El Azteca. In this case, the LHC stands for Large Honkin’ Chimichangas. Please join us as we follow the Scientific Method in observing Father Fencl collide burritos with Coronas in his gastrointestinal tract. Take notes as he transforms solids and liquids in to gas.

The fun begins at 5:30 PM with a fine run on the new paved path along South 16^th. Rain or shine, the show goes on.

gjk

Saturday's Run

2008-09-09T08:17:00.001-05:00

Good lord, you hit the VardoGram “Send” button, and then you see a message from Sister Goodman:

From: Kecia Goodman [mailto:kecia_goodman@yahoo.com]
Sent: 09/09/2008 8:04 AM
To: George klotzbach
Subject: Saturday's run

George,
We have volunteered to host Saturday's run in place of Prof. Schultz. As a result, we are duplicating the "Pick your distance, not your nose" event that had a great first debut about a month ago.

Starting location: 3722 Ross Road
Suggested start times: 20 miles = 5 am
                                      10-12 miles = 6:30 am
                                       6-8 miles = 7:30 am
                                       3-4 miles = 8 am

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=237023

NOTE: ALL COOLERS WILL BE REMOVED FROM THE ROUTE AROUND 9 am.

Kecia

VardoGram

2008-09-09T08:15:00.001-05:00

A Note from Christina Demuth

“Hello Runners! Just a reminder--Running With Heart's website is now updated and registration is open! Running with Heart :: Home Thanks for your support!”

Next Up: It’s Lisa Mondt! (a/k/a Stephon’s Mom!)

“Here are links for Tuesday's run. There are two loops one 6 mile loop with a water stop at North River Valley Park at the ball diamond concession stand; and a 4 mile loop that goes through Stuart Smith & Brookside Parks with water fountains throughout. 10 milers can do both loops.”

4 mile:

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=243927 6 miles http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=243925

On Now To Church News: Here’s Bishop Sacco

“At the risk of being excommunicated from Our Lady of Vardo Church, I am going to share a confession from one of our parishioners, Professor S. (Editor’s note: To protect the anonymity of said parishioner, the name has been altered.) It was apparent that Professor S. was acting a little weird on Tuesday, even pre-run. I mentioned posterior tibial tendonitis and he mentioned something about Preparation H. I said try a little lower on the body Professor. Anyway, a post-run direct quote from the Professor: “I prefer them small and tight so they rub my nipples”.
I suggest some sort of running penance. Feel free to share with other parishioners, at your discretion of course.” The Bishop

And Finally: The Park to Park Half Marathon Report From Our Good Friend Kori

“It was a great morning, cool and a well run event. There were PR’s all over the place. I’m not sure who PR’d and who didn’t, but I think: Mike, Tim, Kori, Mary and Natalie had PR’s. Everyone should run this one next year!” (Note: This fine event was in Cedar Falls)

Mike Mullins 1:23:59

Tim Fencl 1:35:03

Beth Henriksen 1:36:21 (1st in age group)

David Swenson 1:54:01

Hillary Olson 1:56:19

Kori Heuss 2:04:31

Mary Schrunk 2:06:57

Natalie Welter 2:08:14

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Monday:          Hit the brakes and back up, boys – we missed Paul Kallio’s birthday
Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. (South Entrance – City Hall) RouteMaster: Lisa Mondt
Wednesday:    Remember when your dad told you to be careful because somebody's bowtie could really be a camera?
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run. It might be a good time for a run and some fine eatin’ afterwards. Discuss.
Saturday:         Group Run RouteMaster: Father Fencl (substituting for Professor Schul .. er . . . Professor S.)

Saturday Group Run

2008-09-04T08:37:00.001-05:00

This is what I love about Team Vardo. Someone always steps up to the plate and hits a home run:

From: Dave Elsenbast [mailto:Dave.Elsenbast@regfuel.com]
Sent: 09/04/2008 8:06 AM
To: George Klotzbach
Subject: RE: Saturday Group Run

We’ve got a 13 mile and 8 mile route on the schedule for Saturday.

We’ll start it from my home, at 3218 Bayberry Road, in Northridge.

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=242823 13 miles This route starts at 3218 Bayberry Rd, route heads out to Bloomington Rd, head west as it turns into GW Carver, take a left on Cameron School Rd, take a left on North Dakota. Look for a cooler at the 3 mile point, at Deer Run Lane. Continue south, past Ontario, not too far from Lincoln Way, take a left on the short bike path that cuts over to Westbrook. There will be a water stop as you come off of the bike path. Continue on Westbrook, left onto Hickory, and a right on Woodland. Take a left on West St, then a left on Hyland. Go up Cemetery Hill on Pammel Drive. Take Pammel to University and take a left on 6^th St, take a waterbreak at the water next to the skateboarding park. Take 6^th up to Northwestern, take a left and go up to 24^th. Right on 24^th to Grand Ave, go up to Bloomington. I’ll have a waterstop right before Bloomington. Take Bloomington up to GW Carver, take a left, go a block and take a right on Bayberry.

http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=242826 8 miles This route heads out to Bloomington Rd, head west as it turns into GW Carver, take a left on Cameron School Rd, take a left on North Dakota. Look for a cooler at the 3 mile point, at Deer Run Lane. Take a left on Ontario, go to Stange Road, take a left. There will be a waterstop behind the Somerset sign at Stange and 24th. Continue on Stange up to Aspen Rd, take left, right on GW Carver 1 blk, then take a left on Bayberry, take up to 3218.

We’ll have start times at 6am and 7am. Assuming most of the 13 milers would start at 6am, but 8 milers could also if they’d like. I’ll have fruit, juice, and bagels at the finish. It should be great fall running weather.

George, I’m looking for about 3 Vardo coolers, if someone might let me know who’s holding, I’ll stop by and pick them up Friday night.

Dave Elsenbast

VardoGram

2008-09-02T09:20:00.001-05:00

From The Founding Aunt Of Team Vardo, Kori Q. Heuss: A Note On An Upcoming Event

The Muddy Monster Cross Country Run (formerly the Devil's Dash) is scheduled for Saturday, October 25th at Noelridge Park in Cedar Rapids. The event welcomes runners of all athletic abilities to participate in a professionally managed event. For complete details, including registration information, visit http://muddymonster.com. (Editor’s note: For some unexplained reason, Kori likes to thrash around in the mud. This probably dates back to her days in the Gamma Phi house at ISU.)

Madrid Labor Day Weekend Races

Father Fencl left a somewhat garbled message on the VardoPhone with word that several rostered and non-rostered staff members of the Our Lady of Vardo church turned in fine performances in Madrid this weekend. I was able to decipher that Brother Mullins, Sister Goodman, and Father Fencl (also known as That Dumbshit From Protovin) finished in the top tiers of their respective age / gender categories. I would imagine the event was chock full of Vardo’s. A more complete report may be forthcoming as the week progresses.

GAAAAAR!

No report.

GAAAAAR! Pancakes

No report.

Captain Midnight’s 5K Run/Walk for Cystic Fibrosis

When was the last time you can remember seeing so many Vardo’s at one event. You had Vardo’s walking. You had Vardo’s running. You had Vardo’s on the course providing directions. You had Vardo’s at the finish line as official timers. You had Vardo’s crawling on their bellies like reptiles. To put the icing on the cake, you had The Vardo herself live and in person directing traffic. Truly, a fine Vardo evening was had by all. And, of course, Professor Schultz has the Team Vardo website promptly updated with a congratulatory message to the magnificent Vardo who orchestrated the whole event, Jeff Margrett.

Group Runs / Activities This Week

Tuesday:         5:30 PM: Group Run - Vardaman Center for the Performing Arts. (South Entrance – City Hall) RouteMaster: Dale Weber
Wednesday:    Does freezing fish kill bacteria? Short answer - No.
Thursday:        5:30 PM Group Run – Ada Vardaman Heritage Memorial Warren Q. Madden Pregnant Palin Park
Saturday:        Group Run RouteMaster: Beth Osowski (Did I read somewhere that she moved from Ames? Is she still a Vardo?)

Live From New York, It's Saturday's Routes!

2008-08-29T07:17:00.000-05:00

From this weekend’s RouteMaster, Kirstin Peterson:

There are two options for Saturday that can then be divided, multiplied, added and maybe even possibly increased by the Nth power to create a variety of distance options, one is a 10 plus a little and the other is a touch over 5. The FABULOUS Mrs. Mary the "honey I schrunk the kids" Schrunk and I are coordinating the water stops and conveniently enough both routes begin and end at Hy-Vee (east) grocery store so you may carb load or re-load post run to suit your very own nutritional needs (personally, I recommend the buffet with a side of Starbucks, but hey that's just me :)). Now, since I'm one of those crazy early morning people I'm recommending a start time of 6 am for the longer distances (10+) and 7 am for anyone planning on less than 10...this should make it so that we all finish at around the same time for the most part (I just love it when a plan comes together perfectly).

Without further a-doo, here are your links and written instructions...

10 Miles, http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=241077

Start at Hy-Vee East and make your way to "the trail" (I have no idea what it's called but we run it like every week and it will deposit you at Airport Road near some ISU/Vet Med/Vardaman Extension Research Park) and follow "the trail" all the way to the end on Airport Road (if you find yourself climbing a barbed wire fence and shucking corn husks from your shoes, you've gone too far).
Once on Airport Road head west, stop for hydration at the Elwood/University/Airport/Wessex corner then continue west to State Street.
Turn right (aka-North-ish) on State and make your way to Mortensen.
Stop for hydration at the corner of Mortensen and State, then turn left (west) onto Mortensen and run like nobody's watching (but really they are) until you get to S.Dakota. At S.Dakota, turn right (north) and continue PAST Lincoln Way and head down the hill, about 3/4ths of the way down, look right and discover a paved bike path.
Turn onto the bike path and this will turn into Westbrook Drive, at the very first street intersection (Westbrook Lane) look left toward the second driveway on the left and stop for more hydration (it may be possible to knock on the door at 303 and ask for a potty break and/or ride if you feel so inclined, however even though these folks are my in-laws I have no idea if they will be up and/or dressed and/or even answer the door by the time we come rolling by...if so, say hello and continue on, you still have a few miles to go). NOW, get back onto Westbrook Drive and look East and realize that, yes that is the direction you are going to run, UP the ubber-big-fricken-hill, go ahead, get going, staring at it isn't going to make it any smaller, and continue to the top to Hickory (sing the Rocky theme song in your head if it helps).
At Hickory, veer left (northeast-ish) and continue on until Franklin.
At Franklin turn left (north) and continue to Oakland
Go East (right) and enjoy the downhill.
Turn north (left) on Hyland to Pammel (yep, you know what's coming...)
Turn on Pammel, take a deep breath, dig deep and head uphill, AGAIN!
Turn south (right) onto Bissell then left (east) on Osborne. Find hydration in any campus building, I prefer MacKay myself, but the option is yours.
Turn south (right) onto Wilson and make your way to the ISU Power Plant trail and think to yourself how nice it is when it's not covered in a 2" sheet of ice, then promptly swear at yourself for thinking of winter on this wonderful day.
Continue in an easterly direction and run by the Brookside skate park, stop for more water if needed, then continue on 6th.
At the stoplight, pause for a moment and look at the train bridge hill, chuckle slightly and give it the bird as you TURN south (right) onto N.Hazel
Head back to Hy-Vee using your favorite creative route adjustment (Garmin approved) method. If you don't like Lincoln Way, take side roads most of the way to avoid it. If your a direct sort of person then by all means hop on the great Lincoln Way and run like well, you know, to get back to the land of carbs and coffee.

20 Miles, http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=241077 , plus http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=241077

This is the 10 mile "Rinse, Repeat, and follow with Vardo approved Conditioner" run. (*products not tested on animals, and guaranteed only when sold by a professional **I claim to be neither).
If you have a wild hair up your butt you can run it backwards...I mean in the reverse direction, don't actually attempt to run all 10.2 miles backwards as no good can possibly come of it.

5 Miles, http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=241079

Start out on the 10 mile route, but turn north (right) at the first water stop, onto Elwood/University and continue to Mortensen
Turn west (left) on Mortensen then north (right) on Beach. Follow Beach to Lincoln Way.
Turn east (right) on Lincoln Way and head back to Hy-Vee.

15 Miles, http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=241077 , plus http://www.usatf.org/routes/view.asp?rID=241079

Add 10 + 5 to get 15

3, 8, 12, 16, 18 Miles

Any combination of the above plus some Vardaman-Garmin approved creative route adjustment parking lot loops to get you near your goal.

Thanks Everyone! I hope to see on Saturday. For everyone with races this weekend GOOD LUCK and don't be afraid to throw an elbow if you must (ok, I'm just kidding about the last part if you really do throw an elbow then I don't want to be held responsible :)).

Thanks again,

Kirstin

Kirstin K. Peterson

Administrative Assistant

Iowa Subway Development

503 Duff Avenue l P.O Box 2377

Ames l IA l 50010

P. 515.232.0239 l F. 515.232.0716

“There is no such thing as failure as long as one tries. The only failure is not to try.” ~ Sister Madonna Buder, Ironman Legend

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